Taking Hold of Hope

Psalms 43:5
Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise him, Who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

This week has been a bit of a rollercoaster for me emotionally. As the start of school is close at hand my heart begins to feel heavy. I’m not sad that the girls will go to school, but every year at this time my heart aches for the life that Emily will not have.

This year with Emily entering high school the ache has become enormous. The gap is so wide between her development and that of her peers. And there is just no way to close it. I think of the future and her lack of communication and I am nearly overwhelmed. It should be so easy, with technology available, to put a computer in her hands and help her to use it. It should be, but it isn’t.

I’ve tried for years to open the doors to communication for her. And yet nothing has grown in the spots we’ve planted seeds. So what does this year hold for her? Hope.

Its a new year, a new school, and she is at a new age. So again, I have hope that this year something will occur, a new person in her life, a new technology, a new therapy to help her communicate. And my hope is renewed.

One time I had a dream that Emily was calling me. When I went into her room she was jumping on her bed and laughing. This is my favorite dream I’ve had about her.

While she isn’t able to jump on her bed today I know that someday God is going to give her a new body, one that will never break down. And she’ll be able to talk and sing. And with absolutely clear communication I’m pretty sure she’ll say, “Thanks for having hope Mom, I couldn’t have made it without you.”

Thanks for listening ~